A glimpse into my life.

I have a friend who goes to the same school I do. This person, let's call him Mike, originally declared a major in physics. He got through two semesters of physics-related work, including four-hour labs, endless lectures, calculus classes, etc etc, and also taking just about every music elective possible. Then he decided that physics was "too hard" and wimped out. He then changed his major to music industry with a minor in audio arts production (recording).

Doesn't that sound familiar? Oh, yeah! It is. Because that is my major and my main minor.

This idiot person came to college with a plan to have a career in alternate energy. He took classes in his chosen field. He did a LOT of work in that field. He almost thought he was going to fail out because the work was "too hard." Maybe if he'd focused on what he was doing, instead of taking a jillion music electives, he could've had more time for physics. Maybe if he'd been committed to physics, he would not have had this problem.

Mike blamed the physics career path on his parents. He said that he wanted to make them proud. Mike has major daddy issues. He went home that summer and had some huge heart-to-heart with his parents, who (I guess?) allowed him to switch to music. Mike pays his own college tuition. Why he feels he needs his parent's approval is beyond me, but we are talking about a 20 year old who won't get a tattoo in a hidden spot because his mother cried at the suggestion.

Mike also loves to brag and go on about how much he knows about music. One of his favourite pastimes is demanding that I name five Bob Dylan songs whenever I wear my Bob Dylan shirt, and calling me a poser for wearing the shirt without going to the concert. (It is not a tour shirt. I had a ticket to the concert but had to work.) He also enjoys demanding I name the album a song came off of if I mention I like it. He is an unbelievable music snob, and instead of bonding with someone over their love of a band he likes, he makes them go through a gauntlet of questions to determine their "true" fandom before he accepts it.

He also enjoys discussing how he grew up around music, so he knows everything about amps and guitars and drums and mics and whatever. That's all well and good. He insists he is going to become a rock star. That's fine too. He is currently in about five bands, several of which are school-related and thus will cease to exist when the semester's over.

How are you going to accomplish anything, Mike, if you don't commit? Commit to one band and drop out of college. If you insist on taking the industry major to learn the business and better improve your chances of making it, that's a smart move, but you're wasting precious time getting your name out there and getting gigs. You're also wasting a lot of money that could be going towards gear, gas, or recording sessions.

And why take the recording minor? Are you going to tell the engineer how to do his or her job when you go into the studio? I'd kick an artist out of my studio if they tried to tell me how to do my job. Do you think you're going to spend money on thousands of dollars of equipment to record your own albums? Who's going to distribute them? Who's going to produce them? Where are you going to get all this money?

Mike really irks me because I feel like he's copying me and stealing my thunder. I have had a plan since eighth grade to go to school for exactly this. He likes to tell me that my group is a bunch of potheads who won't do anything, and I should've picked better groupmates, but ultimately "it's your grade." He also likes to tell me I need to figure out what I want to do, because if (as a first semester freshman, taking exactly one major class) I don't know the difference between a producer and an engineer, I'm way behind. This from a kid who is taking a major pretty much for funsies, with no idea of what he'll do after college.

I think that Mike missed the memo where college is a place to begin your career. College is a place to learn your trade. What you do here determines your job. If he didn't like physics, fine. But don't drop into a major you aren't planning to get work in. College is about commitment. I am committed to my major. I know exactly where I want to go and how to get there. I am doing exactly what I need to be doing to get there. If Mike wants to be in a band, drop out of college and work on your band. I want a job behind the scenes. I'm putting in the work to do just that.

And, by the way, Mike, Jello Biafra is producer, engineer, and owner of Alternative Tentacles. So back the fuck up, I know what I want to do and where I'm going. Mind your own business.

Sydney Dalton & Little Girls

Here's a video I made discussing why you should not use the Internet to spread hate.

The sex questions.

Outside (and sometimes inside) of Foureyes, I am often asked sex questions by my friends. Usually I don't mind, really, because I know a fair bit about sex, and I love to help people. However, when it comes to sex questions, it's all in the phrasing.

You can very easily make me not want to answer your question, or give you shitty advice, if you say things like this:

1. "My attractive friend might want to have sex with me but has a boyfriend..."

2. "I've never really put it in because it 'hurt' the first time and then the condom broke the second..."

3. "Wait...where's my clitoris?"

4. "So you just touch it [clit] and orgasm?"

And here's why.

1: If you need to qualify with your "attractive" friend, that means you wouldn't be having this problem if they weren't attractive. If she was fat/ugly/whatever and had a boyfriend and wanted to sleep with you, you'd say no. So why is her relationship worth jeopardizing just cause she's hot?! I know that everyone likes what they like and most people don't want to sleep with people they don't consider attractive, but I mean really.

2: If it hurt her the first time, how about you don't try again, and you believe her when she tells you it hurts? You got the proof you needed when you tried again and the condom broke. It hurt her and the condom broke because she wasn't wet enough, because she wasn't relaxed, because you probably didn't do your job well enough during foreplay. Either that or she felt pressured or was uncomfortable with the situation, in which case find a better situation, sheesh.

3&4: Ladies. Please. It is not unladylike, slutty, or any other bad thing to masturbate. Same goes for porn. It is healthy, it is fun, it is normal (If you don't like porn, try erotica, or trashy romance novels!). When you masturbate, you learn your body. This means that you know what you have downstairs, and you can also better direct a sexual partner. Guys will (generally) think it is hot that you have previously diddled yourself. They will appreciate the help. Every girl is different and everyone has different turn-ons. If he learns yours through you and not trial & error, it makes everything go smoother, and, bonus! you will be more likely to come.

ON VIRGINITY: (male & female)

Ultimately, virginity comes down to you. If you think that since you've had oral sex, you aren't a virgin, cool. If you think that your first time with penetration didn't count for some reason, also cool. If you get "born-again" and re-virginized by a priest or something, cool. In my opinion, if you stuck your head into a party, you didn't attend. I'm not saying one or both parties has to finish, it just has to be more than an "oopsie daisy, poke poke done."

At the end of the day, I think sex is cool, sex is great, have lots of sex in your life. But don't slut-shame, because if that girl was a guy, he'd be the champ. Guys: Don't expect girls to just blow you, and you'll be cool. Would you go down on a girl you'd just met? She doesn't want to do that either. Educate yourself. Learn your body and learn about the other gender (or whoever you prefer)'s body. Be safe. Learn about the different types of contraception/STD prevention.

Oh, and a footnote? A "vagina" is just the inside. "Vulva" is the term for lips, etc. I don't refer to your whole kit&caboodle as just a ballsack.

Bonus Video!

Here is a bonus video I made today while I cleaned. Foureyes will be up later tonight, sorry about that, I recorded it yesterday but then got lazy.

Here is what I did today. from Abi Jay on Vimeo.

This is what Foureyes does on her Saturdays, between an Ask Foureyes episode and a reflection. Please no kitchen jokes, and yes, I know my basement is creepy as shit, we call it the Amityville Horror basement and my friends won't go down there at night.



A note about the eagle I chipped: My dad used to make wood carvings that were abstract-ish and cool. The eagle is one of them. We also have a huge one in the garage that looks like a cross between the Virgin Mary and a peanut. But anyway, the eagle flew off the side table it was on when I tried to rest the camera on its head, and it almost hit me in the foot which would've caused me to cry, and its eagle foot chipped. Moral of the story: eagles are not camera-rests and they will fuck you up.

Foureyes' Suggested Tattoo Aftercare

The following are the tattoo aftercare instructions I got from my favourite artist, and since I constantly lose this piece of paper, I decided to type them up so I can always access them, forever, from anywhere, until the end of time. All my tattoos have healed beautifully, by following these directions, and picking phenomenal artists, of course. And I thought I'd share them with you, my loyal followers and blog readers. (HAH.) The { } are my personal suggestions.

Keep bandage on for 1-2 hours depending on the amount of bleeding. {Or however long your artist tells you to.} After removing bandage DO NOT re-bandage. Air is the best tattoo healer.

Once the bandage is off wash tattoo gently with warm water and antibacterial {read: orange Dial} soap. Pat area dry with clean towel. Avoid cloth as it may harbor certain harmful bacteria.

After tattoo is washed apply a very thin layer of ointment. We suggest A&D ointment. {I love A&D.} If your skin tends to be sensitive you may have a slight reaction to this ointment. In that case, switch to Bacitracin, Bag Balm, or Tat Wax {or something like it, but NEVER NEOSPORIN, because Neosporin destroys the ink}. Only apply thin layer of ointment when tattoo appears dry, approximately 2-4 times a day, but this may vary with different skin types. {I just do it when the ointment rubs off on something.}

Keep using ointment for 3-4 days after you get tattoo. After that switch to a light nonscented lotion {I swear by Gold Bond Ultimate Healing}. Your skin may appear to peel or flake after 4-5 days. This is normal. {I switch to lotion when it starts peeling.} Let your skin peel naturally, do not pick, scratch or rub area. {If you do, you will rip chunks of ink out and they will charge you for the touch-up because you can't follow directions.} After tattoo has peeled completely your tattoo is healed to the point that you do not have to worry about aftercare anymore.

While tattoo is healing, DO NOT submerge area in any water. No swimming, hot tubs, baths, etc...Showers are fine. Also, keep new tattoo out of direct sunlight, as that may fade the colors. After tattoo is healed always use sunblock when out in sun. This will ensure your tattoo will stay bright for a lifetime. {I wear SPF 85.} Wear loose clothing while tattoo is healing, and avoid any clothing that will rub or put pressure on tattoo. Also avoid sleeping on new tattoo, to prevent sticking. If this should happen use warm water and peel stuck material off gently.

{The rest of it is specific to my artist except:} Tattoos cannot be touched up until 3-4 weeks after they're healed.

"Beer" Reel Big Fish

And the Song of the Week is...

"Beer!"

Hooray!

Foureyes 2 July

Here's the Foureyes episode for 2 July. The music is "Wasted Wings" by Emmett Rozelle, the song of the week was "I Will Follow You into the Dark" as covered by Anthony Raneri, and as always, you can ask questions here, or email them to ask4eyes@gmail.com for next week!